Love Is Respect

If there were ever a cause that meant so much to me it would have to be Love Is Respect.org. This cause means so much to me because it empowers teens to know that dating abuse is not okay. Something I wish someone had told me when I was young and dating. I was made to feel like I was worthless, a failure and an all around loser from someone I had dated and then married. Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse, something that at the time was just the norm for me. I was not allowed to have friends, had to wear baggy clothes, and if a guy were to look at me he would get punched, not by me mind you. I wish someone had told me that none of that was okay, EVER! I dealt with that for seven years and walked away from it with my life and a son to take care of. My ego was bruised and beaten but I picked myself up and moved on.

Now 20 years later and a heck of a lot smarter, I have two daughters, and while they are not of dating age yet, you better believe I am going to tell them about my past and how to NOT let a boyfriend treat them. This is so important to me and I urge everyone who has younger daughters and especially those with teens to check out LoveIsRespect.org to learn more about this amazing community and learn how to talk to your children about dating abuse. Here are just a few statistics from LoveIsRespect.org:

10 Teen Dating Abuse Facts

• Physical and sexual abuse is the most often talked about piece of dating abuse.
• One1 in five teens who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped, or pushed by a partner.
• One in three teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner.
• One in four teenage girls who have been in relationships reveal they have been pressured to perform oral sex or engage in intercourse.

However, dating abuse doesn’t have to be physical. It can include verbal and emotional abuse and controlling behaviors.

• More than one in four teenage girls in a relationship report enduring repeated verbal abuse.
• One-third or more of teens who have been in a relationship have been with a partner who frequently asked where they were and whom they were with.
• One in four teens who have been in a serious relationship say their boyfriend or girlfriend has tried to prevent them from spending time with friends or family; the same number have been pressured to only spend time with their partner.
• Nearly one in five teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a break-up.

As technologies like cell phones and social networking become a common form of communication, they can also be used to abuse and control.

• One in three teens (30 percent) say they are text messaged 10, 20, or 30 times an hour by a partner inquiring where they are, what they’re doing, or who they’re with.
• 68 percent of teens say boyfriends/girlfriends sharing private or embarrassing pictures/videos on cell phones and computers is a serious problem.
• 71percent of teens regard boyfriends/girlfriends spreading rumors about them on cell phones and social networking sites as a serious problem.

Sources: Teenage Research Unlimited (http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/surveyresults.htm) – Technology & Teen Dating Abuse Survey, 2007 – Teen Dating Abuse Survey, 2006 – Teen Dating Abuse Survey, 2005

Please talk to your kids about this, ask them to talk to you. Don’t let them become a statistic. When I was going through it I thought that was the normal thing for all relationships to go through, I wish someone had told me I was so very wrong! If anyone would like to ask me questions about my experience or ways that I have overcome things please post here and I will make sure to answer every request, or if you here is too public please feel free to email at thedirtyshirtblog[at]live[dot]com and I will get back to you. The more we help each other the more we protect out children. I will be talking more about my situation as the weeks and months go on as this is an ongoing cause I will be supporting.