That Feeling of Home
February 3, 2010 by admin - Jennifer
Filed under Jen's Journal
I had the weirdest feeling the other day, one I haven’t had before and it seems to have stuck with me and really make me think. But first let me back up a bit…
When I met my husband we were young, I had a child, and we ended up living with his mother. Now anyone who has ever had to do this knows the type of tensions that are in a house with your soon to be mother-in-law. We dated for three years living there and because of her religious beliefs we lived apart, in separate bedrooms. I understand her beliefs but boy was that hard. Now fast forward a few years and we finally get to move out, married, with our two kids. I never went back to that house, while I was happy and had a good life, in a round about way it felt like I couldn’t be me there. (I know my mother-in-law reads my blog and to her I want to say that I am and will be forever grateful for what you have done for your son, grandson and granddaughter, while we were there and beyond).
The other day she had the kids for a meeting my husband and I had to attend together and we went to pick them up. It was the first time in over six years I had been back. When I walked through that door I was hit with a wave of being home that I have not had since I lived there. All the memories came flooding back, the house is just like it was when we left, my sponge painted walls and all. I really felt like I was home.
I have not been able to shake it since. We are renters, so we can’t make another person’s house have that feeling. It’s a feeling I miss greatly and one I so foolishly took for granted back then. Wherever my family is is home, I believe that fully, I just miss that all encompassing security of having it all. Not being greedy, just nostalgic.
What a lovely post. I know what you mean; my husband and I were renters for a long, long time, and the only reason we were finally able to get our first house is because we moved to Houston for his jobs, and houses are dirt cheap here compared to the rest of the country.
Six years later, I still have a sense of pleasure every time I come home. Our house isn’t fancy, we still don’t have any furniture that isn’t hand-me-downs (and clawed to shred by our cats), but I love my home. I have faith that you will get to have that feeling again with your husband and kids in your own house someday.
Twitter: ConnieFoggles
says:
I enjoyed reading this post about you and your family. I hope that one day you get that feeling about your own home too. It’s not being greedy. It’s a feeling of having your own space. This brought back some great memories for me of owning my own home too. I had a huge living/dining area that was completely empty except for carpeting. We called it the Football room. We’d have so much fun running around and playing. Sometime less is better.
Twitter: homemom3
says:
This has happened to me but with the first town we lived in. I just think it is a memory of all the firsts. It’s the one place you had joy and some other moments I’m sure but it was a place the bonded the two of you and somewhere you spent a long while with your child.